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Go up a rectum! But you are really a cretin. What a turd you are! I could kill you! Go give two blow jobs! You have truly broken my dick. Go take a shit! And you will see the anger, both in the eyes and in the hands. Hands will shake. Fingertips will graze the underside of a chin. Thumbs will be raked across throats. Palms will slap biceps. Index fingers and thumbs will form Ls and hover above the hips to indicate just how large your ass will grow from the smacking you will get.
But once citizens are on the road, all bets are off. Cars parked on sidewalks — sideways. Semis passing motorists. Motorcycles passing cars on the right.
So which traffic laws can you break? You may follow traffic laws as well, as long as no other motorists are in a rush. The other week, I was driving down a main road, fully enjoying my right of way, when some dipshit snaked his car out of an alleyway and cut me off. I honked my horn and shook my hands at him, only to see that he had turned around in his front seat — while driving, mind you — to shake his hands and shout at me, as though I were the asshole.
I thought you were mad at me. Italian food is loved worldwide, and with good reason. Fine, you can eat the other shitty cuisines of the world if you have to. Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, there is an extremely stringent set of rules in Italian cooking.
Traditionally, short pasta goes with meat sauces, long pasta goes with seafood sauces. Time-honored recipes are not to be polluted with substitutions. Pasta must never be cut with a knife. Nowadays, much experimentation is taking high-end Italian kitchens by storm — i. Cheesy seafood alfredo? Chicken parmigiana? Chicken and meatballs in pasta?! Cottage cheese in lasagna?! What the fuck is this shit!